音樂請點選  歸路



 
No Nursing Home for Me  拒絕安養之家 ~ 有錢!有閒!
 
About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.  I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back.


兩年前,我與妻子搭乘高級遊輪公主號暢遊西地中海。


某晚,享受遊輪上豪華、豐盛的晚餐時,


我們注意到主餐廳中有一位上了年紀的老太太獨自用餐。


我也同時注意到似乎遊輪上的所有的工作人員,


包括主管、服務生、雜役等,大家都好像跟這位老太太很熟識的樣子。


我跟身邊的服務生打聽她的身份,


我期望他或許會告訴我們說她是這家遊輪公司的所有人,結果不然。


服務生告訴我們說,這位老太太已經連續的搭乘這艘遊輪四個來回旅程。


 


As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".


一天晚上,當用過晚餐離開餐廳之際,我與這位老太太打了個照面,


我跟她打招呼並問候:


『我聽說您連續搭乘這艘遊輪已有四個來回了』『是的,這是真的。』


我說:『我不懂您為甚麼要這樣作?』她毫不猶豫地回答我:『這比住安養院還便宜呢!』



 


So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:


『嗯,我以後不需要住安養院。』『當我衰老與體弱時,我就讓自己來搭乘公主號旅程。


『選擇住在安養院,平均每天得花$200 美金』


『我在預約公主號旅程時發現,我可以用長期合約與老人身份享受折扣,


每天只需花費$135美金。這表示每天替我自己省下 $65美金!』外加:
 


1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day. 每天只需$10小費(太便宜了!)
 


2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week).


我每天可以享受10頓以上的美食,就算我需要蹣跚的走到餐廳。


或者我可以要求房間服務(我還可以每天躺在床上享受早餐)


 


3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.


公主號上有三個游泳池,一間健身房,免費換洗衣物,每晚還有高檔表演。


 


4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.


他們還提供免費牙刷(膏)及刮鬍刀,免費的肥皂和洗髮精。


 


5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.


他們還奉你為上賓,而非病患。


只要你肯多給$5美金小費,全船的服務人員都將擠破頭來伺候你。


 


6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.


我每隔7 到14天就能結交一批新朋友。


 


7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.


電視故障?需要換燈泡?需要換床墊?


沒問題!他們會快速處理並對一切不便表示歉意。


 


8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.


每天更換床單與毛巾,從來不需要你的提醒。


 


9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.


如果住在安養院裡跌了跤,傷了你的屁股,你只能用健保看病;


如果同樣的事在公主號上發生,他們會在你有生之年,終身升等你的住房哩!


 


Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?


好戲還在後頭呢!你想不想遊覽於南美洲,巴拿馬運河,


大溪地,澳大利亞,紐西蘭,或任何你想去玩的地方?


 


Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.


公主號將整備出發。所以別想讓我去住安養院,我只要徉徜在這海上之旅。


 


ps: And don't forget, when I die, they just dump me over the side -- at no charge.


備註:噢!別忘了!倘若我死在船上,他們會將我直接拋下海中 ~ 不另收費。


 


感謝好友信件


 

    全站熱搜

    自在居 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()